You Cannot Pour From An Empty Cup
The following is something 100% of my clients have heard me say time and time again. I work with so many amazing people with the majority being female. They are rock star mom’s, kicking ass in the work world, running a household and tending to their families. They make time for everyone, friends, kids, husbands, they even find time to do volunteer work and help those less fortunate. These amazing women would drop anything and everything for the people in their life. The only problem is that they put themselves last or sometimes not on the list at all.
If you’re anything like me you laugh to yourself each time you get on an airplane and hear the flight attendant say to first, place the oxygen mask on yourself first and then on your child. You know full well in the event an emergency you are putting that mask on the kid next to you, even if its not your kid. You will make sure your husband, who is fully capable of putting a mask on his face, has his on and maybe a few strangers around you before even thinking about yourself. Logically we know we are more equipped to help those around us when we can breath, but we do it anyway.
Ladies we are getting this all wrong!!!
I would say over the past 20 years in the fitness and health industry 90% of my clients are women and I absolutely love what I do. I have so much passion for fitness and health but most of all, what I love doing is making people feel good about themselves. If I could sum up my purpose in life it is to inspire people to feel great about who they are and just kickass at being their best selves.
Everyone deserves to feel amazing in their own skin, love who they are and take the time to focus on what makes them feel great.
Now before you all start judging me and start thinking my kids are standing on the side of the road with their thumbs out looking for a ride to school and my husband is cooking and cleaning the house all on his own while I am at the spa, please let me clarify. I love taking care of my family, but what I have come to realize is that when I spend time on what’s important to me and what feeds my soul I come to my family a better more whole version of myself. My family gets it as well. There are times when my husband will say why don’t you go for a run or my kids will say mom did you meditate today. They notice the difference and want the full Jill, not a stressed out, tired and wired version of me.
When you take the time to fill yourself up first you are walking around life sprinkling your amazing energy to everyone you come in contact with. You are coming to life full, abundant and with a deeper knowing of what is right for you.
Imagine yourself as a full pitcher of water and the people around you in your life as cups. As you go through your day you pour a little into the work cup, you pour some more into the kid cup, your pour a little into the husband or boyfriend cup, you pour a little into the pta or kids sports cup, into your parents cup, into the keeping up cup, into the friend cup and on and on until your cup is empty. You are tired, depleted, your energy and vibration is low. You lack the energy and motivation to do anything for yourself when you do have a little extra time because you are exhausted and empty. You have things you want to do for yourself but never get to. You feel like you can never keep up and that others are running your life. This way of being can also lead to resentment and bitterness when all of the work and care you put into others does not come back to fill you up. You are looking to others to fill up your cup. It is a viscous cycle and in this cycle no one’s cup is full. Just like you are not meant to drain you life energy to fill others up it is not anyone else’s job to fill you up either. Only you can truly do that.
Looking to others to give you a sense of worthiness means that your self worth is always dependent and controlled by others. You are giving others the key to your worthiness which will always be fleeting. You are always worthy, you where born worthy and you do not need to do anything to prove it.
Now lets flip this around. Imagine yourself as a full pitcher of water. You have a good solid self care routine in place. You feel your worthiness, and take time for yourself so that you come to your day feeling the fullness of who you are. You do react to the energy and situations of your day, you set the tone and infuse your energy into your day. You spread good vibes everywhere you go. Imagine what that looks like. You are an overflowing pitcher of water spilling and sprinkling water (energy) to everyone in your life just from your place of fullness. You are filling up their cup just by being you. Just by simply sharing your energy with them. People feel your amazing energy and are drawn to it. You are attracting abundance in your life, the right people, the right situations are coming your way simply by you aligning your energy with the fullness of who you are meant to be.
Ladies this could be you!!
So I completely understand that change does not happen overnight and these patterns run deep! it is ok to start with one small change at a time. We are all guilty of getting away from our self care from time to time so here are some intentions you can set for yourself to start today on your journey to fill you cup up.
Set your intention and commit to one hour a week for you:
Schedule a workout, do yoga, go for a walk, meditate, take a bath or go out with a friend.
Let go of excuses:
When you start to hear the excuses come out of your mouth, stop, pause, take a breath and begin again. You are important and time spent on yourself has amazing value in your life.
Put it in your calendar and do not cancel:
Adding the event to your calendar adds tangibility to the event and canceling on yourself sends a message to your brain that you are not worthy of time, love and appreciation.
Get your family onboard:
In my experience it is never the family holding us back, it is always us. Get everyone onboard and supporting you, tell them to remind you, hold you accountable, whatever you need let them know and allow help in.
Appreciate yourself:
I often say this at the end of a yoga class. Take a moment to appreciate taking the time for yourself, filling your cup up so that you can show up for everyone else in your life the fullest best version of yourself. Feel your amazing energy and see your self coming to your day from that full and centered space. See yourself spreading positive energy everywhere you go and receiving it in return. Manifesting the amazing life of your dreams. The life you are meant to live!
Be kinder to yourself and let your kindness flood the world
-Peme Chodron
Books I love that have helped me on my journey:
The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein
Anything by Brene Brown
Anything from Abraham and Hicks-Law of Attraction
