Be Who Your Younger Self Needed
We can all look back and recall a time in our life when we needed something that we did not get in the form of support, love, honestly, trust, etc. It is in those times that we often feel like the world has let us down. Like there is a hole that needs to be filled, but if we can look past the hurt we see this as an opportunity to grow and redirect your path towards not only filling that space within you but to be a light for others you meet along your path.
As we go through experiences in life often times we find clarity through contrast.
We live in a world of contrast. A world where often times we learn what we want by experiencing what we do not want. Contrast can teach us so much about life. It can steer us in the right direction. It can put you on the path to who you are meant to be if you are paying attention to it. When you experience something you do not like or that does not feel good its a sign. Someone treats you unfairly, so you become an honest person. You didn’t grow up with a father, you become the best dad ever. My sister was self-conscious that she could not pronounce her R’s and S’s as a kid so she decided to become a speech therapist. On a high level we value life because we know there is an end to it. How you feel is the best compass you can ever use. Pay attention and trust that your path is unfolding just as it should.
Is what you are creating based on your past experiences?
I can recall a situation about 17 years ago at a Pilates training I was attending. My daughter Abby was about 8 months old and everything in my body was not quite put back together again. My ribs were all over the place, my hips out of sort and I still had SI joint issues from back labor. Anyway, I was in this training in Michigan with ex-professional dancers, an ex-rocket, and a bunch of physical therapist that I swear cannot call a body part by it’s normal name. You know, saying gluteus maximus instead of just saying butt. I was trying to get a move down, it was a squat with a cat back off the tower (if you are interested) and I could not pull my ribs in and down as I rounded my spine. The instructor kept correcting me, making me do it over and over again, really humiliatingly me. Clearly this exercise was not happening in my body. I left there in tears. On the way home I called my sister telling her I don’t even know if I wanted to pursue this anymore and she said something to me that I carry with me always.
Just because they do it that way doesn’t mean you have to.
A thought sparked into my mind. I want everyone I teach or train to leave each class feeling good about themselves. Exercise to me, should make you feel great, no matter your level, or ability. You showed up, you moved your body and that is enough. That should be celebrated. That has been my mantra, my calling card, my MO from that day forward. Do I stray from it from time to time and get super annoying to my clients? Sure, but I always come back to that. Let me also say that I love form and it is an important part of what I do, but to me it is not more important than how I make others feel. I also know so many amazing Pilates instructors and Physical therapists that are great at what they do and at making people feel great while doing it.
Now I could spend a ton of time hating on that instructor and stay stuck on how she made me feel, but where would that get me? I could have let this incident stop me from moving forward towards what I wanted in life. I had to acknowledge what I do not want, look within, and figure out what path was true for me. I chose to keep pursuing this training but I decided to do it my way, the way that felt good to me. This was towards the beginning of my health/fitness career. I think back about all of the amazing experiences I have had, all the great people I have met, places I have worked and I am so grateful for that experience. Although that encounter stunk and for a moment I let this instructor get to me, had it not happened I would not be the person I am today. I would not know who I wanted to be, what I wanted to stand for, and what mark I wanted to leave on my community.
Learning to listen to your internal guidance system is the best way to know if something is right for you or if you are on the right track. Tune into how you feel. If it doesn’t feel right, chances are it’s not the path for you. Take time to let go of the mind and connect within. Let go of the negative energy that you may be experiencing and the path will unfold for you. Try not to get stuck in the pain. When you experience hurt it’s easy to get stuck in the anger, sadness, or disappointment, but that is not where the answer lies. The answer lies within you. Pay attention to signs, signs from the universe showing you the way. When you can let go of the mind, get clear, and open up, you will receive guidance. Ask for an answer. Ask for guidance and pay attention to what shows up for you. Try this meditation to get you started.
As my two kids and so many of their friends embark on their college experience, it is my hope that they grow and learn from each experience. Some experiences will inspire them on who they want to be and some will show them who they don’t want to be and both are important guideposts. The road for them may not always be smooth and easy but there are lessons in them all. It is all a journey into becoming who they are meant to be in this world.
As adults its important to know we are all still sorting it out too. Through the twists and turns in life, take the time to pay attention to how you feel. When you have an unpleasant experience, take it as a sign to go a different direction, regroup and do it your way. It is never too late to be the person your younger self needed. To fill in those holes with your truth, authenticity and self love. When you follow your internal guidance system, you will be led down the right path, it will feel good, and you will become the person you are meant to be in this world.
Light & Love,
Jill
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